


Christmas Miracle

by lilnaugrim



Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-02
Updated: 2015-01-02
Packaged: 2018-03-04 21:23:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3090458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilnaugrim/pseuds/lilnaugrim
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On Christmas night Hawkeye comes down seriously ill but a little wish and some Christmas magic comes along.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Christmas Miracle

It was less than a week until Christmas and the M*A*S*H unit, 4077th, wasn't having a very jolly week. Sickness had arisen in the freezing camp, most were able to be treated and shipped off to Tokyo for further healing during the holidays. The doctors of the unit were resting Christmas Eve in their tent.

"What a week," Hawkeye sighed as he rested against a few flattened pillows on his cot, he groaned at the soreness from operating over twelve hours. "Don't these people fighting know it's Christmas?"

"I guess they didn't get the memo," BJ shrugged form his side of the tent, huddled in his blankets as he sewed the hole in his sock up. "Hey, do you believe in Christmas miracles?" BJ asked, intent on his sock.

"Sometimes, it depends on what kind of miracle it is," Hawkeye said in reply, attempting to hold back a cough.

"I was just thinking about Erin and Peg, it's her first Christmas and…well, my Christmas wish would be to be able to see her on Christmas day, even just for a day," BJ stopped his sewing to look up across the tent, imagining what their faces would look like when they saw him. He smiled to himself and tried to wipe the wetness from his eyes before they formed tears. "How about you Hawk? Any Christmas wishes?" BJ looked over to his friend, Hawkeye groaned again and rubbed at an aching spot on the right side under his ribs.

"You alright Hawk?" BJ asked. It was the first time that BJ had really looked at him in a few days and noticed how pale he was looking along with the mild sheen of sweat that was starting to form on his forehead.

"Yeah…yeah I'm fine, just a little rash from the cold," Hawkeye told him, seemingly in pain.

"Are you sure? There have been an awful lot of sick people around lately, sure you didn't catch anything?" BJ got up as he set his sock, needle, and thread down before he went to Hawkeye's side. He placed his hand on the slick forehead and tried to get Hawkeye to stop writhing.

"Beej, please, I'm fine. I'm just cold," Hawkeye tried to swipe the hand away but BJ wasn't done with him.

"Let me check you out, alright?" BJ sat down at the edge of the bed, nudging Hawkeye's hips over to sit comfortably. Hawkeye was shaking his head and trying to push BJ's hand away who was trying to get Hawkeye to open his eyes to check them.

"No, no—I'm fine, I swear," he tried to say but ended trailing off when he started to feel a little lightheaded. "I um…" Hawk started, he had his head turned from BJ but BJ was trying to turn him back to examine his mouth, nose and sinuses. "I feel…I feel sort of strange," Hawkeye managed.

"How so?" BJ asked, kneading at Hawkeye's cheeks to feel the sinus pressure but it seemed to be fairly clear and so he moved down to check on his lymph nodes in the neck. 

"I don't know…" Hawkeye wet his mouth as he turned his head away again, disobeying BJ like a child. "I feel—feel sick…not good," he managed to get before he rolled to his side away from BJ to vomit on the floor. BJ looked away and grimaced, keeping his hand on Hawkeye's shoulder as he convulsed. BJ wasn't exactly a fan of playing nurse but he'd do anything for Hawkeye.

"I swear to god Hawk!" BJ growled at him, figuring he'd just eaten too many biscuits at lunch and downed the entire contents of the still. He looked over as Hawkeye tiredly wiped blood from his mouth and that's when BJ knew the man hadn't been drinking. "Come on, let's go over to triage," BJ quickly got up to put his boots back on and then help his friend up off his cot, ignoring the mess he'd made at his bedside.

"Did you deal with any Typhoid patients or Tuberculosis patients recently?" BJ asked him when they were set up in triage, BJ was shining the light in his eyes to see the reaction of the pupil, it was slow.

"Why would I do that?" Hawkeye asked, BJ took the light away to observe his best friend's face, Hawkeye looked thoroughly confused and unsteady.

"How long have you been feeling like this?" he asked instead.

"I don't know what you mean Beej, I feel fine," he tried to slip off the bed but BJ pinned his legs against the bed to stop him.

"Hawk, come on, think!" BJ cupped Hawkeye's face in his hands to hopefully help him concentrate but Hawkeye wasn't in the mood apparently, his childish smile proved it.

"That's for doctors and nurses!" he exclaimed just like a child and BJ wondered what the change was in him.

"Hawk, where are we?" BJ asked, testing him.

"It's Christmas dad! We have to get the ham and get ready!" Hawkeye exclaimed he was looking at BJ but he wasn't at the same time; BJ could see he had a very distant look. 

"Okay buddy, I'll get everything ready, you just lay down and get some rest okay? You've had a long day," BJ tried to get him to lay down, Hawkeye obeyed him but started to cough. "Now where does it hurt?" BJ asked trying to lift the shirt of his friend; Hawkeye was giggling at the light brushes against his stomach and trying to keep his shirt down.

"Beej!" he giggled more before settling down and letting BJ do what he needed to which meant letting his shirt be pulled up. "You should at least take me to dinner first," he noted, the old Hawkeye was back, BJ smiled before looking at the rash that was on Hawkeye's ribs.

"How long has this been going on?" he asked, pushing the jacket to the side and lifting the side of his shirt to see the origin point on his right side which looked like a tick or flea bite.

"How long?" Hawkeye asked trying to itch the rash that had spread from his right ribs to the whole of his back and stomach.

"Yes, how long have you been itchy?" he asked in more simple terms since Hawkeye still seemed distantly delirious.

"Oh…two weeks?" Hawkeye guessed, still trying to itch at his rash but BJ kept his hands away from it.

"Why didn't you tell us before?"

"It's just a cold rash," Hawkeye shook his head.

"A rash doesn't make you vomit…" BJ told him gently, Hawkeye just looked up at him from his place on the bed, starting to feel sorry for himself before he broke his gaze with tears welling at his eyes. "Hawk," BJ whispered quietly with a sigh as he reached up to brush the hair back like a father would, Hawkeye closed his eyes to revel in the touch but he was feeling emotionally vulnerable after the terrible two weeks they'd just had with all the wounded and the sick coming in, the pressure had gotten to him.

"I—I didn't want you to…to worry," he sniveled rolling to his side gently to grip at the clean sheets below him, his shirt falling back down a little. BJ sighed heavily again and took his hand away, letting his friend cry.

"Have you started treatment?" he asked and Hawkeye nodded, sniffing once before trying to blink away his tears.

"Tetracycline," he replied, shutting his eyes again with a painful surge through his muscles around his ribs.

"How long?"

"A week and a half," he started to writhe quietly on the bed.

"Have you seen any improvements?" he asked and Hawkeye just kept quiet at the question, keeping his eyes shut tightly, "Hawk, answer the question," BJ rested his hand on Hawkeye's hair, thumbing away some of the tears lightly in attempt to get a response. Hawkeye opened his eyes again to look up at his friend, BJ noticed the sunken eyes and the deep circles around his eyes from sleep deprivation, Hawkeye tried to stall more but finally shook his head.

"It's resistant," he answered, BJ gave a small audible gasp at the news, the drug was still only a few years old, there was no way that the bacteria could be resistant already unless Hawkeye was lying.

"Hawk!" he accused his friend, "you can't get out of the army by dying," BJ quickly got up, it scared Hawkeye but he started to shake his head.

"I don't want to die," he started to cry again, biting at his lip.

"You're not going to die under my watch Hawkeye," he quickly bent down to kiss his friends forehead and told him he'd be right back. BJ informed Margret about Hawkeye's condition and asked if he could get someone to clean up the mess he'd made previously in their tent, Margret agreed through some fussing. BJ then went over to the Colonel's tent and knocked.

"Enter if you dare," came the Colonel's angry voice, he knew they were all trying to sleep but this was an emergency.

"Colonel, Hawkeye is sick," BJ came to the point once he entered the tent.

"Go throw him in the showers then!" Potter voiced angrily from under his blankets.

"I'm very certain he has Murine Typhus and it's not getting any better with Tetracycline," BJ explained, Potter tore down his blankets to look up at the worried friend.

"What?!" Potter asked as he turned himself to get up and put his shoes on to help out, "did he just contract it or has it been a while?" he asked.

"He said two weeks."

"Why didn't he tell us before?!" Potter asked angrily.

"He said he didn't want us to worry about him—"

"Horse hockey!" Potter spat but BJ interrupted to finish his sentence.

"He's already vomited; he has a slight fever, a very large rash starting from under his right pectoral and spanning across his front and back. He became delusional for a few minutes and he has severe fatigue," BJ listed.

"You're sure it's Typhus?" Potter grabbed his robe and coat for the chilly December night.

"Almost positive, I just need a blood test to know for sure, I was hoping you could run that while I get him set up in the VIP tent for now to keep him under surveillance through the night?" BJ asked as Potter nodded.

"That's fine son, you get him comfortable. He's in for a rough night I suspect," Potter let BJ lead the way to Triage to help his best friend. Hawkeye had passed out on the bed, the bed wet from his tears and shirt still slightly pulled up. "He looks terrible, how did we not notice this earlier?" Potter asked as he grabbed the syringe and bottle to draw blood.  
"We were too preoccupied with ourselves," BJ answered, he sounded pitiful even to himself.

"Damnit Pierce," Potter mumbled as BJ left to get the tent ready for Hawkeye. He found Margret on the way who stopped him again.

"Hunnicutt, there was blood in the vomit…a lot of blood" she told him and he sighed heavily with a hand running through his hair.

"I know," he said, defeated in the night.

"Hunnicutt, he's going to be alright, won't he?" she asked him, she was genuinely worried for him.

"Honestly?" he asked and she nodded, "I don't know. He contracted Murine Typhus a few weeks back and I don't know if he's been doing the Tetracycline treatments but it's not working, he's in rough shape," he told her and she looked on edge to cry, she stopped when she thought of something.

"Wait! What about that antibiotic that came out two years ago? Chloramphenicol?" she asked.

"Margret, you are a genius!" he grabbed her head and kissed her forehead before running off to the supply room to find the drug, he at least prayed that they had some in stock. He rummaged through the antibiotic section when he heard the door open.

"I'm not going to leave you on your own!" Margret told him, rushing to help him look for any signs of the antibiotic. He smiled at her and continued to look.

"Isn't there something about this drug? Immune system has to be nearly perfect to use it or something?" he asked her as they rummaged through the boxes where the drugs should be.

"If the white blood cell count goes down, we have to take him off it immediately or we risk death, it's still very new," she said as she opened a box to find it empty. "BJ," she got his attention, she showed him the box which had the chemical name on it and then showed him that it was empty.

"Damnit!" he yelled and hit the shelf.

"BJ, don't worry, we'll figure something out. I'll go ask O'Riley if we have a shipment due," she patted his arm and ran out to find the Corporal. BJ was running on his last legs through the evening, he was exhausted and with Hawkeye being sick on top of it only drained his emotions which was what was keeping him running in the first place. He'd fixed up the VIP tent to hold Hawkeye in it and had his best friend moved over to it, they were running an IV with more Tetracycline through it and a saline drip to keep him hydrated, he prayed Hawkeye's kidneys were up for the job. He sat at the edge of the bed looking down at his friend in the dim lighting of the tent, he didn't remember what he was thinking before, he could only think of Hawkeye now and how it was Christmas Eve. His thoughts were interrupted by Colonel Potter who knocked and came in in his coat and pajamas still.

"How does it look?" BJ asked as Potter came to sit on the chair next to Hawkeye's bed to rest himself before he rubbed at his face tiredly.

"It's Typhus for sure, the Tetracycline was trying to attack it but it's too weak," he told BJ, BJ bowed his head and groaned.

"Damnit Hawk," he said under his breath as he looked down at his friend.

"There isn't anything more we can do for him right now, just make a Christmas wish that he'll be alright come morning," Potter was close enough to pat BJ's knee. Margret came in looking depressed herself.

"Corporal O'Riley has informed me that our shipments are being held over and the last of the Chloramphenicol was used for another soldier last week," she sniffled as she told them. BJ rubbed at his sore neck at the news and looked back down at Hawkeye.

"We'll be in our tents if you need us, don't hesitate," Potter stood up to take Margret's hand in friendly affection. Margret nodded, letting out a tear at the still unconscious Hawkeye.

"Thanks," BJ said, his voice sounded so small as he nodded to them and they left him to be with Hawkeye alone. He watched them leave, the door closing behind them felt like it was echoing deep in his heart as a wave of intense sadness washed over him. He knew the odds of Hawkeye living through this, it was little to none with how the bacteria had spread through him so far and so fast. He looked back down at his friend through his tears and sniffed.

"You know, you were the first real best friend I ever had—I had friends in Junior High and College but no one can compare to you," BJ started to talk, chuckling through the tears, he tried to wipe them away but more kept coming. "You are so, so silly and stupid and irritating and loyal…I couldn't imagine being here without you honestly. Somehow you make being here all that much bearable, I swear to God Hawk, if you die on me, I will never forgive you," he broke down at that and bent forward to rest his head on Hawkeye's chest to continue crying his heart out.

"I know I already made my Christmas wish but if I'm allowed, I'd like another?" he said into the air, picking his head up and silently apologizing for the tear stains on Hawkeye's green shirt, "if I could have another, I'd wish that you'd live through this and get better so I didn't have to deal with this all on my own—maybe that's a little selfish but I don't know what else to do," he tried to dry his face again, he was mid-drying when he heard Hawkeye shift, he took his hands from his eyes to look down at his patient who was moving his head, Hawkeye was trying to smile.

"You….selfish bastard," Hawkeye whispered with half a smile, his eyes still closed. BJ grinned and started to check his vitals.

"Oh you have no idea how happy it makes me to hear your voice again!" BJ exclaimed, scooting closer towards Hawkeye's upper half to check on his fever again.

"Don't—don't get too excited," Hawkeye managed to whisper, grimacing in pain at the rash momentarily, "I still feel like shit," he told his best friend. BJ lost his excitement, his Christmas wish wasn't answered, it was just coincidence Hawkeye had woken then. "How do I look?" Hawkeye asked, able to crack his eyes to see a blurred BJ sitting over him.

"Hawk, you aren't doing well at all," he answered honestly, his eyes opening further little by little, "we've run out of Chloramphenicol and the Tetracycline isn't working," he wiped his face of tears again when they started up, Hawkeye's eyes were finally open but they were bloodshot and tears starting to well again.

"I'm not okay, am I?" he asked and BJ shook his head.

"No," he answered, looking away to cry more, slightly ashamed of his tears but at the same time, he couldn't stand looking at his best friend when there wasn't anything he could do to help him recover.

"Well," Hawkeye started, voice shaking terribly, "while we're in the—the sharing mood—"

"Please Hawk, no," BJ looked back as he shook his head, Hawkeye was trying to sit up a little more but he couldn't get his arms to work very well.

"Beej, I've wanted—wanted to tell you this for a while," Hawkeye started, "I never quite had the words or the right time," he struggled with breath and to get the words out through tears still.

"Hawkeye, whatever you have to say, you can say it in the morning," BJ continued to shake his head, refusing to believe that Hawkeye would die.

"Beej!" Hawkeye said louder to stop him from continuing to talk. BJ looked at him and bowed his head to obey. "I know, I know you are married," he started off softly, BJ glanced back at him at the mention, "and I know you love your family," he continued, BJ was interested in what he was trying to say now. "But if I do die, I want you to know something," his voice still shook terribly; the disease was really grabbing hold of him.

"What Hawk, what?" he urged him to continue, grabbing Hawkeye's very cold and clammy hand for support.

"I know it's not right and I know I shouldn't—trust me, I've tried but—" Hawkeye stopped to allow himself to cough away from his best friend. He groaned at the force of the cough and tried to scratch at his rash but BJ grabbed his other hand to stop him from doing so. Hawkeye stopped to give a sigh and catch his breath so he could continue to speak, tears still rolling down his cheeks.

"Come on Hawk, you can tell me anything," BJ leaned forward, cupping his cheek to thumb away more tears hoping that he was helping.

"I'm very sure that I love you," Hawkeye was able to choke out. BJ stopped everything, freezing as he looked at his best friend. He let go of the breath he was holding, he searched Hawkeye's eyes to find that he was telling the truth but BJ couldn't believe it as he started to shake his head.

"That's not—that's not, you can't," he refused, Hawkeye looked away from him as he bit his lip with the pain both emotionally and physically.

"That's fine," he replied, BJ could hear the hurt in Hawkeye's words and immediately took his hands away from Hawk's. 

"Hawk, I'm sorry, I just can't—"

"Stop, I know Beej," Hawkeye told him, closing his eyes again.

"You knew that so why, why would you do that?" he asked.

"I didn't ask to be like this, I tried BJ, I tried to stop but the more I tried the worse it got!" Hawkeye yelled at him, he instantly regretted it when it triggered something in him. Hawkeye crumbled on his side and whimpered in pain, he tried to remember to keep his arm with the IV in it straight but the pain that was welling in his chest and on the rash was too much for him. BJ tried to help straighten him out but with the writhing, it was proving difficult. Hawkeye reached over and ripped out the IV so he could successfully crumple into a ball with the pain.

"Damnit Hawk!" BJ growled as he got up to use his entire strength to straighten his friend out, suddenly Hawkeye became silent and his body went limp. BJ stopped pulling on him when he realized when was happening. "No, no, no, no!" he screamed at Hawkeye who was quickly slipping away from him. BJ quickly checked for a pulse on the neck, he held still for a moment but he couldn't feel anything, only the intense pulse of his own racing heartbeat. He banged on Hawkeye's chest in attempt to get his heart beating again, "you can't do this to me!" he screamed at Hawkeye as half the camp ran into tent.

"Hunnicutt!" Margret yelled as she ran to help. Colonel Potter, Father Mulcahy, Radar, Charles, and Klinger looked on, gathering in the tent.

"He's gone, he's gone!" BJ sobbed into Hawkeye's cold chest, Margret checked all his vital points to find a pulse but she looked up at the others, tears in her eyes.

"Is he?" Radar asked, timid.

"I'm afraid so," she answered, taking her hand away to cover her face. She stood up to join the others, BJ's sobbing outweighed their own crying, and Colonel Potter wiped the tears from his eyes and wiped his glasses.

"Time of death…eleven forty three…Christmas Eve," Charles spoke quietly, all the eyes turned to him, even he was misty eyed. He turned away and walked out of the tent.

"Lord, please take your child into…" Father Mulcahy started to pray quietly.

"Alright, let's get him out of here," Colonel Potter told Klinger who was crying into a fanciful kerchief.

"Please, can we wait?" BJ asked, lifting his head to look at his commanding officer, Potter nodded like a knowing father.

"I understand, you want to make your peace," he agreed. "Alright folks, we'll have a ceremony for him in the morning, for now, let's get as much shut eye as we can," Potter told them, Radar was holding his teddy bear close to him and crying into it. "Alright, come on, skedaddle," he shoed them along.

"I'm sorry BJ," Margret patted BJ's shoulder and gave it a squeeze, BJ nodded and looked down at his cold friend. They each took their turns in settling some peace before they left. BJ huffed and tried to wipe his face. He felt horribly cold and death-like himself. He cried for moments with the death of Hawkeye surrounding him, it was Christmas damnit! He silently cursed all the gods that he could think and felt sorry for himself.

Seventeen minutes later after Hawkeye's death, BJ removed his face from Hawkeye's cold chest, he checked the pulse one more time and felt his own heart wrench at the absence of pulse. He could almost hear the Christmas bells ringing or maybe it was some shelling happening a few miles up at the front, he wasn't sure but he felt a sudden wave of calm rush over him. He looked down at Hawkeye's peaceful face and he wasn't sure what made him do it but he bent down, millimeters from Hawkeye's face before he stopped, waiting a moment as he observed the heavy lines running through his friends face. He went the next few millimeters and pushed his lips against Hawkeyes, he wasn't sure what he was hoping for but he did it and kissed him. It was chaste but he could feel the softness of Hawkeye's lips. He moved his lips to make as if he were really kissing Hawkeye and sucked on his bottom lip. He pecked at the lips once more and was about to move away when he swore he felt Hawkeye move below him. Suddenly he was thrown back with a force from below.

"What the—!" BJ yelped as he was pushed back and he fell right on his backside. He looked up, heart stopping when he saw Hawkeye sitting up looking extremely confused, hair all mussed and blinking as he looked down at BJ. "Hawk?" BJ asked, staring in wonder.

"I…" Hawkeye looked around, shutting his closed mouth before he looked back down at BJ. The pair was silent for a few more moments; BJ stood up and sat on the bed where he'd been previous, still staring at his best friend.

"You're alive!" BJ finally exclaimed, he wasn't sure if he should laugh or cry so he did both.

"Um, yeah, I think so," Hawkeye looked down at himself.

"Do you feel sick?" BJ asked.

"No actually," Hawkeye answered, looking back up to his friend, "I feel really good," Hawkeye smiled widely, BJ quickly brought them into a hug, holding his best friend close. Hawkeye hugged him back, the pair laughing and crying all at the same time, BJ was holding him so tight he was sure he was going to pop Hawkeye's head off.

"I thought you were gone!" BJ buried his face in the crook of Hawkeye's neck, crying harder now with the scare.

"I was! Or at least, I think I was," Hawkeye embraced BJ further, gently fingering at the hairs on BJ's neck.

"Seventeen minutes," BJ said.

"Wow, that long?" he replied, he could feel BJ become uncomfortable with the petting he was doing so he stopped as they pulled away and cleaned up their faces. "Did you kiss me?" Hawkeye had to ask, a smile playing at his lips when BJ had a deer-caught-in-the-headlights look.

"I—uh, well you see—I mean, I—" BJ stuttered, embarrassed but Hawkeye just chuckled at him.

"Thanks Beej, you know, you're the best of friends I could ever ask for," he said quietly, patting at BJ's shoulder, lingering with his fingers gently pinching at the green jacket but he knew it was a lost cause with BJ. He let his hand fall down BJ's sleeve, glancing up at BJ before letting his hand fall back to his own blanket covered leg. BJ sighed and knew he had to do something.

"I honestly don't know what I'd do without…you," BJ admitted, his heart felt jittery with what he wanted to.

"Thanks BJ, I really appreciate it but I understand—" Hawkeye started to explain but BJ quickly cupped Hawkeye's neck and pulled him in for another kiss. Hawkeye muffled his surprise as BJ pressed their lips together, he went to raise his hand but wasn't sure how much BJ was willing to take, he risked it anyway. He cupped BJ's face and tilted his head to find a different purchase to BJ's lips, BJ seemed to sigh at the lick of lips and suction Hawkeye was applying. Hawkeye moaned himself when BJ's tongue met his lips, whether it was an accident or not, he wasn't so sure but just as he was going to wrap his arms around BJ's shoulders, BJ pulled away, holding Hawkeye away.

"I—" Hawkeye started but BJ put a finger to his friend's mouth to silence him.

"Don't push your luck Hawk, I like you but I need my family too," BJ told him and Hawkeye started to nod as he took his hands away, respecting BJ's wishes.

"I know, I know—" Hawkeye kept nodding but BJ cut him off again.

"But!" BJ smiled at him and waited.

"But?" Hawkeye asked, he realized that BJ's hands were still on his shoulders, it made him feel a little giddy.

"I think we could work something out…maybe," BJ said quietly, he was still embarrassed about this situation but being that it was Hawkeye, it seemed to be natural. He knew in the back of his mind, he was cheating Peg and he knew it wasn't right but he rationalized with himself that it was just the war, when they went home, things would be just fine.

"Well I—"

"Can I try again?" BJ interrupted again but Hawkeye didn't mind so much, he nodded and waited for BJ to make the first move. BJ took in a breath and moved his hands back up to cup at Hawkeye's neck and cheek. He moved in to pressed their lips together, Hawkeye knew he had more wriggle room this time so he immediately lifted his arms again to wrap them around BJ and tilt his head to the side, pecking and sucking at BJ's lips alternately. BJ held him close, letting Hawkeye lead a little more since this wasn't exactly in his expertise. He grunted quietly when Hawkeye nibbled at his lower lip, he could feel Hawkeye's suppressed smile. 

"Don't do that," BJ whispered but it was only halfheartedly as he moved back in to kiss Hawkeye who was smiling at his best friend. BJ pushed harder, suckling and even starting to lick at Hawkeye's lips. Hawkeye's mouth quickly fell open with the invitation, BJ was uncertain but let his instincts guide him and let his tongue into Hawkeye's inviting mouth. Hawkeye moaned with the sudden contact of tongue against tongue, their mouths sealed but tongues dancing between each. Hawkeye thrust his tongue towards BJ's mouth to lick and flip at the slippery tongue. Hawkeye started to play with the ends of BJ's hair at his neck, petting and threading his fingers through to muss the dirty blonde locks. BJ's own hand slid down Hawkeye's back little by little to cradle at his lower back while the other kept at Hawkeye's neck to keep them close. Hawkeye licked at the inside of BJ's mouth before letting go to turn his head and do it again, sealing their mouths again with a contented sigh. BJ let his hands roam around Hawkeye's back and sides before he remembered that Hawkeye was sick.

"Mm, Hawk," BJ mumbled as he started to lower Hawkeye back down on the bed remaining contact. Hawkeye kept his arms wrapped around BJ as they continued to kiss and tongue at each other, huffs of breath and moans were still very quiet. BJ couldn't help himself with Hawkeye just open and ready for him, he climbed up, straddling Hawkeye's left leg as he started to push up Hawkeye's shirt, feeling at his soft skin and muscle below him.

"Wait, what about your rash!" BJ quickly let go of him but Hawkeye still clung so it made for an awkward time when BJ tried to look down at Hawkeye's stomach but the pair ended up bumping heads.

"Oh, the rash is fine but my head is killing now!" Hawkeye exclaimed dramatically and fell back to the bed, arms up over his head like a child would do, he peeked at BJ and grinned.

"Sorry!" BJ apologized quickly before he started to lift the shirt enough to see where the rash was, or at least had been. "There is no way, this is not possible!" BJ began to shake his head, sitting back on his knees when he saw the rash and tick bite were completely absent from Hawkeye's mid-section. "I mean, miracles don't happen! Hell, when water turned to wine did anyone ever think that maybe someone just switched the damn barrels on them?!" BJ had become frantic again; Hawkeye saw his anguish and quickly sat up again to stop his friend.

"Beej, you made a Christmas wish, it just happened to have come to life, I'm back from the dead damnit, why don't you just leave it at that?!" he stopped him, BJ looked him in the eye, tears forming again.

"You are alive," he whispered, looking Hawkeye up and down before he pulled him into a crushing hug once more. "I'm so sorry Hawkeye," he said, rocking the both of them. Hawkeye could barely breathe but was only able to pat BJ's hair and nodded.

"It's alright Beej, I get it," Hawkeye told him, "I know this isn't the wish you'd hope would come true," he added, for a few moments he thought it was a mistake too when BJ let go of him to just look, Hawkeye leaned back on his hands so he didn't fall over. BJ started to shake his head.

"No, it's not the one I would have really wanted to come true but…it's the one I needed," he answered, Hawkeye smiled.

"I'm sorry I'm the only one you get for Christmas…by the way, Merry Christmas Beej," Hawkeye told him with his wide smile.

"Merry Christmas to you too Hawk," BJ nodded, smiling widely back at his best friend. He quickly lost his smile when he remembered something, "Hawkeye! You're alive!" he stood up and pointed down to him, Hawkeye arched an eyebrow.

"I thought we already established this?" he asked.

"No! Everyone else still thinks that you're dead!" BJ explained, hands flailing around indicating the camp.

"We could always scare them in the morning when I'm under the sheet and suddenly pop up and—"

"You'd get punched in the face by Margret and possibly Radar," BJ interrupted him deadpan.

"Oh…Radar, how is he?" Hawkeye asked, feeling bad that he died but then again, how could he have helped that?

"He's crying into his teddy bear the poor thing; we need to tell Colonel Potter at least! Maybe it's some sort of sudden chemical reaction that we don't know about yet!" BJ said excitedly but Hawkeye lifted his eyebrow again with a sigh as he stood up, or at least he tried to. He would have fallen flat on his face had it not been for BJ standing there when his knees gave out.

"Whoa!" BJ caught him by the arm and quickly set up back on the bed to sit.

"Oh, I think necrosis was starting to set in!" Hawkeye hiccupped, shocked from the sudden numb feeling coming from his legs, he was still gripping BJ's shoulder when BJ bent down to lift the green pants to find the greyed skin starting to come back to life with color.

"Hawk, look at this!" he pointed and lifted the leg higher so his counterpart could see the miracle happening before their eyes.

"Hey, I can feel my legs again," Hawkeye exclaimed after a few moments, the greyed skin disappeared under his socks as the flesh continued to color up and Hawkeye started to wiggle his toes in his military boots. BJ looked up at him, Hawkeye was smiling ear to ear, it was infectious—Hawkeye's smile that was. 

"Come on, let's get you up," BJ stood up and bent to put his arm around Hawkeye and pulled him up to keep him supported. BJ let Hawkeye settle on his feet, getting his strength back as he talked to him, "I hope Potter's heart is strong enough to take this shock when we walk through and—" he stopped when he realized how close their face were when Hawkeye turned his head, the two looked at each other's lips in the moment. "Is…is this going to happen every time you look at me?" BJ asked in a whisper, wanting to peck the luscious lips now that he'd gotten a taste of them but wanting to control his urges at the same time.

"I'll try not to look at you," Hawkeye replied equally as quiet but he wasn't turning away.

"I suppose we could…" BJ trailed off, insinuating his sexual urges as he inched closer to Hawkeye's lips but he turned away when he regained himself and cleared his throat.  
"You tease, you," Hawkeye snarled lightly at him, BJ grinned.

"You know we can't be seen like that in public, with my reputation and with society, we have to be careful," BJ told him.

"Yes dad," Hawkeye rolled his eyes, "you make it seem like I don't know."

"You have the mentality of a child sometimes so yes, I do have to repeat things for you," BJ said irritated.

"Well sorry! No one asked you to watch out for me!" Hawkeye retorted the pair stopped to look at each other, realizing they were fighting on Christmas day, Hawkeye sighed first. "Look, I'm sorry, I didn't ask for this to happen, hell I wasn't even going to tell you."

"I know, I know, I'm sorry too. I'm still in disbelief at all of this you know—one minute you're clearly dead and Margret verifies it, it wasn't just me, practically the whole camp was in here. And the next thing I know, you're sitting up and accidentally throwing me to the floor!" he exclaimed, hands waving around to help explain, though his other was still clamped tightly to Hawkeye's side to keep him upright.

"I know, it's a lot to take in, trust me, it's no cakewalk for me either," Hawkeye replied and BJ nodded. "It was a strange feeling, I could feel you and how sad everything was. There was no bright lights or fiery hell, it was just nothing and yet everything all at once," Hawkeye explained, looking towards the far end of the tent, remembering what he'd felt.

"It sounds peaceful."

"It was!" Hawkeye nodded with a bit of excitement and a smile before he looked to his best friend who was observing him, "it was…for a while at least," he looked down to the floor, "I missed you guys you know," he said, looking back up to BJ to smile.

"I know, I missed you too," BJ said quietly with a nod of his head before he looked towards the door, "so what say you? Ready to do some walking?" he asked.

"I'm ready to fall if you are," Hawkeye grinned and BJ just laughed.

"Come on," he pulled Hawkeye along. Hawkeye quickly used him as a crutch, one foot forward.

"Okay," Hawkeye said, finding surprising stability in his leg that he didn't think would be there. He took another step and chuckled with a grin as he learned to walk again. "Just like riding a bike," he chuckled more and took another step towards the door, BJ supporting him.

"What do you think; do you still need the training wheels?" BJ asked.

"Let's try it," Hawkeye gave him the O.K. to let go. Hawkeye stood still for a few moments, finding his balance without his crutch; he looked at his friend to smile as he started to walk towards the door. One moment of unbalance caused BJ to jump at him to hold him up but Hawkeye kept him away with a determined look, he finally made it to the door with a triumphant whoop.

"You did it!" BJ walked forward to hug him, "alright, let's go find Colonel Potter," BJ led him out the door to the C.O.'s tent. Neither were shocked to see the man still in his pajama and robe, he was sitting on the chair next to his bed holding a cup of coffee. He quickly stood up to greet BJ but when he saw Hawkeye alive and well, the coffee slipped out of his hands and crashed to the floor.

"Jumping jingle bells!" he exclaimed before he fainted. BJ quickly lunged to grab the C.O. before he hit the floor. Hawkeye tried to help but he still hadn't gotten all of his strength back yet as BJ heaved Potter onto his bed, Hawkeye was able to grab his feet and pulled them up onto the bed as well.

"How is his heart?" Hawkeye asked when BJ checked the Colonel's vitals just to be certain.

"His blood pressure is probably through the roof by now but he's beating just fine," BJ nodded to him. It was a few minutes still until Potter woke up with a start.

"Hunnicutt!" he looked to his left to see BJ sitting there. "My God, why did you go scaring an old man like that? I swore I saw Pierce with you!" he tried to sit up in his own bed.

"You did," Hawkeye said from the other side of the bed, Potter looked over and up at Hawkeye's smiling face.

"What kind of horse hockey joke were you two playing?!" Potter asked, enraged as he sat up on Hawkeye's side, Hawk moved away from his C.O. and towards BJ instead.

"That was no joke Colonel, Hawkeye really died!" BJ stood up to defend his friend if need be.

"Seventeen minutes!" Hawkeye said from behind BJ when Potter had come around, looking furious at them.

"Seventeen minutes?" Potter asked, expression softening as he realized, "you died twenty three forty three hundred, that's seventeen minutes to midnight," he said quieter and the trio realized, it really was a Christmas miracle that Hawkeye was alive. "Pierce, I'm sorry," he told him, eyes misting.

"Apology accepted," Hawkeye nodded and came out from behind BJ to extend his hand. Potter looked at it but instead just pulled Hawkeye into an embrace, Hawkeye smiled over to BJ and hugged his C.O. back briefly before Potter let go of him.

"Oh! The others!" Potter exclaimed and grabbed his jacket.

"That's why we came here first, no one is going to believe us," BJ said as they followed Potter out through the camp and towards his office. Hawkeye was trying to keep up but his muscles still weren't quite ready for all the work he was subjecting them to, he ended up tripping over his own foot, falling face first into the mix of dirt and snow on the ground.

"Hawk!" BJ quickly bent down to help his friend up, "are you alright?" he asked as he helped dust off the jacket and pants.

"I—I, yeah, I think so," Hawkeye said, slightly in a daze.

"Come on," BJ hooked his arm under Hawkeye's to give him a crutch again and led them after Potter into Radar's office. BJ nodded to Hawkeye as they flipped the light on, Potter went into his office and BJ followed him. 

"Oh Colonel sir," Radar stood up to greet them, he'd continued to work though he was still very much teary eyed and his teddy bear was sitting on his desk with tear stains on it as well.

"At ease soldier," Colonel passed him by with a wave to go into his office.

"Oh hi BJ," Radar tried to smile at the captain but he then caught sight of Hawkeye and he stopped in his tracks, "Um…BJ? I think I'm hallucinating, is there a cure for hallucinating on Christmas?" he asked in his timid voice, he almost tripped over his chair looking at Hawkeye.

"Hi Radar," Hawkeye spoke, hands in his coat pockets, smiling at the clerk.

"He even spoke to me, oh God, BJ, I think it's getting worse!" Radar switched his look to BJ who looked to Hawkeye with a smile.

"Oh you couldn't Beej," Hawkeye shook his head, BJ had a notion of letting Radar continue on thinking he was hallucinating but Hawkeye knew it was too cruel for the poor boy.

"He's alive Radar, he's right here," BJ let go of Hawkeye's arm to let him go to the Corporal who was wiping his tear stains away.

"But—but how? He died!" Radar asked, switching his look from the two men.

"You'd better thank your dear old Santa Claus for sending down a little Christmas miracle to bring me back!" Hawkeye said cheekily with a big old smile, Radar didn't know whether to smile at it or to cry.

"I'll be in with Colonel Potter," BJ patted Hawkeye's should before leaving the two of them. Hawkeye watched him leave before he looked back down at Radar again.

"I don't believe this," Radar spoke quietly.

"Come here," Hawkeye beckoned him over, Radar went timidly. Hawkeye pulled him in close and wrapped his arms around the scared Corporal in an embrace. "Could a ghost do this?" he asked, Radar quietly wrapped his own arms around Hawkeye and tried to not let on that he was crying again. Hawkeye chuckled quietly and patted Radar's head gently in his hold.

"Promise me you won't go away again?" Radar asked, Hawkeye had to huff and smile at that as he pulled away.

"Radar, you know I can't promise that while we're here…" he looked down at his friend who nodded and pushed away his tears, "but…I promise," he added which made Radar look up at him and smile as he fixed his glasses. "Atta boy," he patted Radar's shoulder before turning to walk slowly into the Colonel's office, trying his best to keep balance before he was able to slip into the chair in front of Potter's desk.

"Okay, what I figure we'll do is just call everyone in here, you hide in the OR until everyone is in and then you walk in and we get the shock done and over with at once," Potter clued Hawkeye in.

"Sounds like a plan," he shrugged and looked up to BJ. BJ nodded to him, "well alright, let's go hide out in OR, not like we've already spent enough time in there!" Hawkeye clapped the chair arms as he pushed himself up, his muscles were coming back nicely, BJ still put his hand on the back of his arm to help the pair across the hall and into the OR to wait.

"How do you feel? Still weak?" BJ asked as Hawkeye hopped up onto one of the tables against the wall, out of the line of sight of the door.

"Feeling a lot better now, I feel…more awake I guess. It's kind of like when you first wake up and you feel exhausted still and weak like you can't get out of bed but once you do, you progressively become more awake and stronger," he explained and BJ nodded with a smile.

"I'm glad," BJ said quietly, leaning against the bed next to him closest to the door. Hawkeye tried to scoot closer to BJ but BJ looked back and up at him with a questioning glance.

"We are alone you know," Hawkeye hinted to what he wanted. BJ's eyebrow shot up at the suggestion.

"Hawk, I refuse to kiss you at any moment we're alone, I do have some self-reservation I'd like to keep alive you know," BJ shook his head and went back to looking away from his friend to wait, they heard Radar announce over the camp intercom for the list of people to come to Colonel Potter's office immediately for an emergency meeting.

"I suppose you should be in the office so as not to arouse suspicion," Hawkeye sighed like a kid would, BJ glanced at him sidelong but he couldn't help the small smile at the choice of words.

"I suppose I should," BJ got up from leaning against the table, "you stay here and wait until I come get you, alright?" BJ asked as he started to walk away.

"Yes master," Hawkeye grinned; BJ shot him a small meaningless glare before he left the OR and went back into Potter's office. Hawkeye sighed again as he started to swing his legs to pass the time. He could hear a few of the people entering into Colonel's office, they were wondering what was going on. Hawkeye could hear some of the sniffle, one blew his nose in something, another was still quietly sobbing about him and it made him feel bad again, but what was there that he could do? He wanted so badly to prank them but at the same time, these were some of his closest friends and they'd already been through enough with his death earlier. He grumbled to himself as he picked at the linen sheets and waited for BJ to come back.

"…I'll be right back," he could hear BJ tell the group after a few minutes, the OR doors opened and BJ beckoned him forward, he hopped off the table and shuffled to his friend. "Come on, they're waiting."

"Yeah…I know," Hawkeye shrugged, looking down at his booted feet.

"You know you have to do this sooner or later and why keep your friends suffering?" BJ asked, realizing Hawkeye was feeling bad again.

"I know, I know, just—just give me a minute, okay?" Hawkeye put his hand to BJ's chest to stop him for a moment. 

"Hawk, come on," BJ tried to get him going, "you can't run away forever."

"I know Beej!" he said louder, "Sure, I go in there and what? What do I say? Hi honey, I'm home! Back from the dead actually! How? Not a damn clue! We're doctors for God's sake! How can this," he motioned to himself, "happen?" he held a conversation with himself, BJ sighed and tried to stop Hawkeye from pacing.

"Then don't talk alright?" he tried to calm his friend realizing the anguish and nerves. Hawkeye did stop his momentary pacing to look at BJ before he nodded and followed, he couldn't help the muscle in his leg suddenly stopping for a moment. He almost fell but clutched to BJ instead. "Would you stop it?" BJ said through clenched teeth.

"I'm not doing it on purpose!" Hawkeye growled back as he punched BJ lightly in the arm, no smile to be had. Finally BJ opened the door to let himself in first and lead Hawkeye into the room. Hawkeye stood there awkwardly in the silent room, it was deafeningly quiet as he stood there, wringing his hands in the awkward silence. "Uh…I everyone…I'm home," he said, unsure of himself with the teary eyed people around him. Margret was the first to shriek next to him, he quickly put up his guard against her.

"How could you do that to us? How could you die? You ungrateful little fink!" her insults went on and he tried to stop her, she suddenly wound up to punch him in the face, he would have fallen over had it not been for Charles who was standing to the side of him. "Oh my God, Hawkeye! I'm so sorry!" she shrieked again and lunged to hug him tightly, he was still confused and sure he had a bloody nose now.

"It's okay Margret, I know," he told her, grateful for her as she cried into his jacket. It was like someone suddenly hit the play button and the rest of them all roused to greet him, crying on him and hugging him. Margret ended up giving him a big old smooch on the lips, he grinned and insinuated bunking up with her and she lightly smacked him across the cheek in retort, they both just smiled at each other.

"I never thought I'd be so happy to hear your stupid insinuations again Captain," she told him, he smiled, "welcome home Pierce."

"Hawkeye, there must have been some intense praying and wishing going on in this camp for this have to have happened," Father Mulcahy told him, red in the face from his own tears.

"Thank you Father, couldn't have been done without you," Hawkeye replied before he pulled the priest into a hug as well.

"Merry Christmas everyone, I hope you all weren't hurting too bad from my death, it's all very touching to know you all care for me so much!" he announced after he'd hugged everyone here and said his thanks. Many eyes were rolling at his speech which made him smile to see them going back to their normal selves instead of grieving over him. "With that I've thought of a list of things that I'd like—" he continued but everyone started to grumble and walk out of the office towards their beds, grumbling that he was back and normal as ever, no need to worry. Hawkeye happily watch everyone leave in better spirits than they had been previously, a big grin on his face.

"Well, you did it Hawk, ruined all of their Christmas spirits," BJ clapped him on the shoulder.

"Yeah but they aren't so sad anymore," Hawkeye shrugged at him, smile still very much present as he looked at his best friend.

"This…is very true," BJ nodded, "Merry Christmas buddy," he pulled him in for another quick hug.

"Pierce, I'm glad your back, this camp would have gone down the shit-hole had it not been for you," Potter said, standing next to them.

"Hey, what about me?!" BJ asked, acting offended.

"Admit it, you would have gone down the shit-hole yourself Hunnicutt," he raised an eyebrow at the two, BJ sighed.

"Yeah, you're right as usual Colonel," BJ nodded with a glance at Hawkeye who was still smiling.

"And don't you ever forget it!" Potter pointed to him, BJ just chuckled, "alright, off to bed with you two, we've all had enough Christmas magic for one night," he shooed them off and out of the office.

"Good night Colonel," Hawkeye lightly saluted him with a nod as BJ led him back out into the bitter cold after a short good night to Radar as well who was already cuddling into his own bed, teddy bear hugged to his chest again.

"Come on, it's freezing!" BJ pulled Hawk along towards the Swamp as they battled the gale force Christmas winds. They quickly entered into the Swamp, both had chattering teeth as they jogged in place to get warm again as they held their arms around themselves.

"It's a shame we couldn't stay at the VIP tent tonight if you know what I mean," Hawkeye elbowed him with a wink.

"Hawk, you're ridiculous, get some sleep," BJ went further into the tent, Charles was already fast asleep and snoring lightly. Hawkeye went over to him as BJ shucked his jacket and looked back up to Hawkeye suddenly next to him. Hawkeye pulled him in for a gentle kiss, it was innocent as far as Hawkeye was concerned, he pulled away with a smile at his partner.

"Merry Christmas Beej…hey—and thanks," Hawkeye pointed to him before he went to his side of the tent to get ready for bed. BJ chuckled at him, shaking his head as he slipped into his cot.

"Merry Christmas to you too Hawk, peace and…love to us all."


End file.
